Abused by drunks, spat at and called obscene names, chuggers have a lot more to deal with than public prejudices. But do they deserve your charity?
It was my first day, I was standing on Liverpool high street and the weather was atrocious. I was armed with a clip board, and already people were giving me disapproving looks. The first person I tried to talk to just raised his arm and walked on by. Another person was drunk, he started hitting me over the head with a soggy newspaper, then he tried to hug me and then he started hitting me over the head with his newspaper again. It was scary, people walked past as though nothing out of the normal was happening. Nobody seemed to care what happened to the chugger.
I’d gone through a lengthy telephone interview, a gruelling four hour face to face screening process and two days of meticulous training but nothing properly prepared me for unexpected incidents that happen on the high streets of the UK. As a street fundraiser you need to demonstrate positivity, imagination and passion, but when the rain is pouring down in Liverpool and you’re being abused by a drunk, all these attributes evaporate.
The term chugger, a blend of the words charity and mugger, is an example of the negative labels that, along with an identity card, hang around the neck of every street fundraiser. Abuse at the hands of the public is relentless; I was spat at, verbally abused and frequently ignored. However every now and again I met someone who makes it all worthwhile. I remember when I was fundraising for Oxfam and I met a Somalian student at Manchester University who thanked me for what I was doing, he told me how Oxfam had built a well in his village and how many lives had been saved by the work Oxfam did with the community.
Most members of the public have a story to tell about how they were bullied by a chugger, just as they have a story about a rude waiter in a restaurant. However, unlike waiters, a negative experience with a fundraiser tends to linger. People love to hate chuggers, not because of the odd bad experience, but because a chugger is the bearer of bad news. No one wants to walk down a street in the morning, coffee in one hand, paper in the other, and be reminded of breast cancer or of the continuing crisis in Darfur, but keeping these issues in the forefront of the public mind is the only way to remind people that these are crises that continue to threaten the fabric of our community.
It is unlikely that the negative publicity and abuse will cease to surround street fundraisers but it should be remembered that these are dedicated, passionate people who risk abuse and discrimination to raise funds for worthwhile causes. It’s a thankless job but somebody needs to do it.
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Tuesday: 18th November 2008
A cracking lecture today, one that really makes me happy that I’m doing Creative Writing, unlike English Literature which teaches you research skills; Creative Writing teaches you the skills you need to crack the Industry. Today, various people came in and told us about a whole load of competitions, volunteer placements and work experience placements. I’ll be mulling them over and deciding which ones are suitable for me before pursuing suitable opportunities for my own ambitions.
One that really caught my attention was the Bath Life Competition, ‘article about life in Bath’ which I shall certainly be entering. I already know what my article will focus on. I’m lucky enough to work for The William Herschel Museum. The Herschels were an incredibly interesting family and also Bath residents, but nevertheless very few people have heard of them, or the museum. Hopefully the article should be interesting enough for people to read, and if I win I’ll bring some much needed publicity to the museum as well. I’ve already written to Alison at the museum to ask her what she thinks, and with any luck I should have the article completed by the end of this month, ready to hand in. Am very much looking forward to it.
With regards to my article about ‘chuggers’, I took the first draft into my seminar today and got some very useful feedback, I’ll now do some tinkering, get some more feedback and send it off to Community Care magazine. I’m a little undecided as to whether to make it an opinion piece or an article. I phoned NSPCC and Cancer Research to ask for some quotes, facts and figures about street fundraising just in case. I really enjoyed phoning these massive charities and asking for all this information, I felt like a proper journalist and they were very helpful. All very interesting. I’m going to take all the time I need before sending this article off as I’m not working to a deadline and I want to get it right.
One that really caught my attention was the Bath Life Competition, ‘article about life in Bath’ which I shall certainly be entering. I already know what my article will focus on. I’m lucky enough to work for The William Herschel Museum. The Herschels were an incredibly interesting family and also Bath residents, but nevertheless very few people have heard of them, or the museum. Hopefully the article should be interesting enough for people to read, and if I win I’ll bring some much needed publicity to the museum as well. I’ve already written to Alison at the museum to ask her what she thinks, and with any luck I should have the article completed by the end of this month, ready to hand in. Am very much looking forward to it.
With regards to my article about ‘chuggers’, I took the first draft into my seminar today and got some very useful feedback, I’ll now do some tinkering, get some more feedback and send it off to Community Care magazine. I’m a little undecided as to whether to make it an opinion piece or an article. I phoned NSPCC and Cancer Research to ask for some quotes, facts and figures about street fundraising just in case. I really enjoyed phoning these massive charities and asking for all this information, I felt like a proper journalist and they were very helpful. All very interesting. I’m going to take all the time I need before sending this article off as I’m not working to a deadline and I want to get it right.
Chuggers and Charity, a first draft
Abused by drunks, spat at and called obscene names, chuggers have a lot more to deal with than public prejudices. But do they deserve your charity?
The word chugger, a portmanteau of the words charity and mugger, is an example of the negative labels that, along with an identity card, hang around the neck of every street fundraiser. Dealing with these stereotypes is one of the first tasks that you need to overcome if you are to succeed as a charity fundraiser. Contrary to popular belief not all chuggers are the aggressive, pushy individuals who intimidate the pubic and guilt trip people into signing away their wages.
Not just anyone can become a charity fundraiser; if a candidate passes a lengthy telephone interview, then they are invited for a gruelling four hour screening process. Only those who demonstrate the right personal attributes, positivity, imagination and passion, are offered to attend the subsequent two days of training.
Becoming a street fundraiser is not a job, it is a strict lifestyle choice. It means spending nine hours a day, six days per week on the high streets of the UK, regardless of the often atrocious Bristish weather conditions. Sunday is not a day of rest, instead it means packing up all your belongings, travelling to a new location, unpacking all your belongings and preparing for the next day’s fundraising.
It is not just prejudice and harsh weather conditions that street fundraisers must overcome; abuse at the hands of the public is relentless; in Manchester I was spat at, in Liverpool a drunk man repeatedly hit me over the head with a newspaper, I was verbally abused on a daily basis and often people used me as a vent for their grievances about the world’s problems. I even spent a substantial amount of time once listening to man as he told me about his divorce. Despite this torrent of abuse, a street fundraiser must remain cheerful and positive at all times; they do this by remaining passionate about the charities they represent.
Most members of the public have a story to tell about how they were bullied by a chugger, just as they have a story about a rude waiter in a restaurant. However, unlike waiters, a negative experience with a fundraiser tends to linger. People love to hate chuggers, not because of the odd bad experience, but because a chugger is the bearer of bad news. No one wants to walk down a street in the morning, coffee in one hand, paper in the other, and be reminded of breast cancer or of the continuing crisis in Darfur, but keeping these issues in the forefront of the public eye is the only way to remind people that these are crisis’s that continue to threaten the fabric of our community.
It is unlikely that the negative publicity and abuse will cease to surround street fundraisers but it should be remembered that these are people who risk abuse and discrimination to raise funds for worthwhile causes, whilst keeping the public aware of the serious issues facing communities around the world. It’s a thankless job but somebody needs to do it.
The word chugger, a portmanteau of the words charity and mugger, is an example of the negative labels that, along with an identity card, hang around the neck of every street fundraiser. Dealing with these stereotypes is one of the first tasks that you need to overcome if you are to succeed as a charity fundraiser. Contrary to popular belief not all chuggers are the aggressive, pushy individuals who intimidate the pubic and guilt trip people into signing away their wages.
Not just anyone can become a charity fundraiser; if a candidate passes a lengthy telephone interview, then they are invited for a gruelling four hour screening process. Only those who demonstrate the right personal attributes, positivity, imagination and passion, are offered to attend the subsequent two days of training.
Becoming a street fundraiser is not a job, it is a strict lifestyle choice. It means spending nine hours a day, six days per week on the high streets of the UK, regardless of the often atrocious Bristish weather conditions. Sunday is not a day of rest, instead it means packing up all your belongings, travelling to a new location, unpacking all your belongings and preparing for the next day’s fundraising.
It is not just prejudice and harsh weather conditions that street fundraisers must overcome; abuse at the hands of the public is relentless; in Manchester I was spat at, in Liverpool a drunk man repeatedly hit me over the head with a newspaper, I was verbally abused on a daily basis and often people used me as a vent for their grievances about the world’s problems. I even spent a substantial amount of time once listening to man as he told me about his divorce. Despite this torrent of abuse, a street fundraiser must remain cheerful and positive at all times; they do this by remaining passionate about the charities they represent.
Most members of the public have a story to tell about how they were bullied by a chugger, just as they have a story about a rude waiter in a restaurant. However, unlike waiters, a negative experience with a fundraiser tends to linger. People love to hate chuggers, not because of the odd bad experience, but because a chugger is the bearer of bad news. No one wants to walk down a street in the morning, coffee in one hand, paper in the other, and be reminded of breast cancer or of the continuing crisis in Darfur, but keeping these issues in the forefront of the public eye is the only way to remind people that these are crisis’s that continue to threaten the fabric of our community.
It is unlikely that the negative publicity and abuse will cease to surround street fundraisers but it should be remembered that these are people who risk abuse and discrimination to raise funds for worthwhile causes, whilst keeping the public aware of the serious issues facing communities around the world. It’s a thankless job but somebody needs to do it.
Friday: 14th November 2008
A mixed few days in my continuing quest to get as published as possible; I received this email from Steve Wright at Venue:
Hi Jake,
Thanks v much for your email. I'm afraid I have a pretty strong reviewing team in place at the minute, and am not looking for any other writers in the immediate future: but I will keep you on file. Meanwhile, if you are interested in work experience at Venue, feel free to email Mike White, the Assistant Editor here, on m.white@venue.co.uk. Send a CV and some examples of your writing...
Thanks Jake, sorry not to be more help this time and very good luck with your writing,
Steve
So that was a bit disappointing. I wrote and thanked Steve and I’m mulling over writing to Mike White, although as I’ve previously mentioned, I’m not that interested in doing work experience for a magazine, but it’s nice to know that there’s still opportunities there, and if I fail to find work experience elsewhere then I’ll certainly be contacting Mike.
On the other hand I’ve had a little more luck with regards to my ‘chugger’ article. After some meticulous research, I eventually found a magazine that may well be suited for the piece. It’s called Community Care magazine and they’ve already published several articles examining the issue. I did a bit of digging around and found the online masthead of the magazine and decided to call the writer of an article defending chuggers. His name is Adam McCulloch. He was averagely helpful, and seemed genuinely interested in the idea and told me to send the finished article to Derren Hayes, who will then decide whether it’s good enough to be published. I have begun writing the article and I’ll workshop it next week to find out whether it’s suitable.
Hi Jake,
Thanks v much for your email. I'm afraid I have a pretty strong reviewing team in place at the minute, and am not looking for any other writers in the immediate future: but I will keep you on file. Meanwhile, if you are interested in work experience at Venue, feel free to email Mike White, the Assistant Editor here, on m.white@venue.co.uk. Send a CV and some examples of your writing...
Thanks Jake, sorry not to be more help this time and very good luck with your writing,
Steve
So that was a bit disappointing. I wrote and thanked Steve and I’m mulling over writing to Mike White, although as I’ve previously mentioned, I’m not that interested in doing work experience for a magazine, but it’s nice to know that there’s still opportunities there, and if I fail to find work experience elsewhere then I’ll certainly be contacting Mike.
On the other hand I’ve had a little more luck with regards to my ‘chugger’ article. After some meticulous research, I eventually found a magazine that may well be suited for the piece. It’s called Community Care magazine and they’ve already published several articles examining the issue. I did a bit of digging around and found the online masthead of the magazine and decided to call the writer of an article defending chuggers. His name is Adam McCulloch. He was averagely helpful, and seemed genuinely interested in the idea and told me to send the finished article to Derren Hayes, who will then decide whether it’s good enough to be published. I have begun writing the article and I’ll workshop it next week to find out whether it’s suitable.
Friday 7th November
Breaking News
I actually really enjoyed this assignment; I chose to cover a story relating to Ambidextrous, a society at University that has seen a fall in membership. We had a meeting in the pub one evening and I covered this, taking a specific angle on how the society could improve to attract more members.
The object of this exercise was clearly to discover what it was like to work to tight deadlines. As a news reporter a breaking story obviously needs to be reported as early as possible. It’s something I’m getting (I hate that word) used to in my reviews for the Chronicle. Often I will go and see a play on a Tuesday evening, in fact the other day I even had to watch a dress rehearsal, so that I could get the review in on Wednesday morning, ready for Thursday’s paper. It definitely puts an added pressure on you, and sometimes you need to wake up early in the morning to finish it off, but there is an increased sense of urgency about it, it feels professional, and it’s something I definitely thrive on.
I actually really enjoyed this assignment; I chose to cover a story relating to Ambidextrous, a society at University that has seen a fall in membership. We had a meeting in the pub one evening and I covered this, taking a specific angle on how the society could improve to attract more members.
The object of this exercise was clearly to discover what it was like to work to tight deadlines. As a news reporter a breaking story obviously needs to be reported as early as possible. It’s something I’m getting (I hate that word) used to in my reviews for the Chronicle. Often I will go and see a play on a Tuesday evening, in fact the other day I even had to watch a dress rehearsal, so that I could get the review in on Wednesday morning, ready for Thursday’s paper. It definitely puts an added pressure on you, and sometimes you need to wake up early in the morning to finish it off, but there is an increased sense of urgency about it, it feels professional, and it’s something I definitely thrive on.
Monday: 3rd November 2008
Task: The Ladder of Potential
The title of this task sounds a little like something out of a corny self help book, and to be completely honest, at the start, it felt precisely like that. We had to print off a ladder and fill in each rung with how we’d like our career to progress, the idea being that at the end, we’d have a clear and concise set of steps that we can take to our dream job, we could then look at the avenues we can follow in order to immediately start climbing this metaphorical ladder.
As a mature student, I see the value of this exercise because it’s useful to think about what you want to achieve in life. It wasn’t however particularly relevant to me because I’ve known for some time where I want to get to and that is precisely why I am here at Bath Spa University studying Creative Writing. Ironically, I don’t really want to make a career out of writing, not now at any rate, I see my future in television. I’d either like to have ideas for music videos and adverts and see them through to fruition, or I’d like to work in television in some other capacity. Almost everything I do, the modules I choose, the volunteer work and work experience I’ve been doing has been orientated around this eventual goal. I’ve already applied to work for the BBC a couple of times, and my brother and I had a script rejected by Writer’s Room. Undeterred, I continue to apply for work experience positions, whilst at all times collecting valuable experience that I hope will make my application more attractive than my rivals. Reviewing amateur dramatics has been a fantastic addition, as has volunteering for the local hospital radio which is something I do every Monday evening. On my Creative Writing course I’ve written scripts, short stories and made short films. All of this creative practise, I hope, will eventually help me get my foot into the front door of the BBC studios.
I have recently been on the BBC website and have begun filling out two work experience forms for next June. My preferred one is working on Blue Peter. Annoyingly however, in order to complete the form, I need to watch quite a few more episodes so that is precisely what I’m doing at the moment.
In the long term, I would love to write a book for children, and this is one of the main reasons I found Steve Voake’s lecture so inspiring. I can’t imagine a career sat at a desk, typing away on a computer sixteen or so hours a day, I would go insane, but I can imagine working a book around a career. I think Steve Voake represents those people who want to make it in the industry, whilst at the same time fulfilling other ambitions. I am under no illusions that this process doesn’t happen overnight, but I’ve got time and I’m very ambitious.
The title of this task sounds a little like something out of a corny self help book, and to be completely honest, at the start, it felt precisely like that. We had to print off a ladder and fill in each rung with how we’d like our career to progress, the idea being that at the end, we’d have a clear and concise set of steps that we can take to our dream job, we could then look at the avenues we can follow in order to immediately start climbing this metaphorical ladder.
As a mature student, I see the value of this exercise because it’s useful to think about what you want to achieve in life. It wasn’t however particularly relevant to me because I’ve known for some time where I want to get to and that is precisely why I am here at Bath Spa University studying Creative Writing. Ironically, I don’t really want to make a career out of writing, not now at any rate, I see my future in television. I’d either like to have ideas for music videos and adverts and see them through to fruition, or I’d like to work in television in some other capacity. Almost everything I do, the modules I choose, the volunteer work and work experience I’ve been doing has been orientated around this eventual goal. I’ve already applied to work for the BBC a couple of times, and my brother and I had a script rejected by Writer’s Room. Undeterred, I continue to apply for work experience positions, whilst at all times collecting valuable experience that I hope will make my application more attractive than my rivals. Reviewing amateur dramatics has been a fantastic addition, as has volunteering for the local hospital radio which is something I do every Monday evening. On my Creative Writing course I’ve written scripts, short stories and made short films. All of this creative practise, I hope, will eventually help me get my foot into the front door of the BBC studios.
I have recently been on the BBC website and have begun filling out two work experience forms for next June. My preferred one is working on Blue Peter. Annoyingly however, in order to complete the form, I need to watch quite a few more episodes so that is precisely what I’m doing at the moment.
In the long term, I would love to write a book for children, and this is one of the main reasons I found Steve Voake’s lecture so inspiring. I can’t imagine a career sat at a desk, typing away on a computer sixteen or so hours a day, I would go insane, but I can imagine working a book around a career. I think Steve Voake represents those people who want to make it in the industry, whilst at the same time fulfilling other ambitions. I am under no illusions that this process doesn’t happen overnight, but I’ve got time and I’m very ambitious.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Monday: 27th October 2008
For most of the last week I’ve been continuing with my short story and sending it off to competitions. I have decided that http://www.writerscircle.biz is not actually as good as I thought it was. The way they structure their competition, means that short poems, often of poor quality are always more likely to win than a short story, which people can’t read quite so quickly. Unfortunately free competitions were hard to come by and so in the end I decided I had enough faith to submit my story to competitions with a small entry fee. Finding the right competitions was challenging, but also something I really enjoyed doing. I can’t quite put my finger on why, perhaps because it felt a bit like procrastination, and I’ve always been a big fan of procrastination. Anyway, in the end I chose competitions where the deadline was the end of November, so not too far away, and the entry fee didn’t exceed three ponds. I submitted it to three competitions. The Dream Competition, The Scribble Competition and The Cooldog Competition. There was definitely something exciting about posting the stories off and I shall look forward to hearing back from them, hopefully with winning news. In the mean time I feel able to draw a line under competitions and move onto the next part of the module.
The Time Eater - A Short Story
I’ve always known that I was special, after all no one else my age has ever seen him, and nobody in the history of the human race has ever been able to remember him. I can though, and that’s why I’m special. I can recall the first time I saw him. He had been visiting my father in the bathroom and was about to creep down the stairs. Dad had come out complaining that he had found his first gray hair and when I walked out of my room, I saw him there, on the landing, about to put his giant hairy foot on the top step.
We’d talked for hours that day, he asked me why I could see him, I don’t know I had replied, he’s huge you see, at least twelve foot high, you couldn’t miss him. He had so many interesting stories, like the time he’d sat in on a meeting between the Prime Minister and the President of America. He said he’d eaten hours and hours that day. He feeds on wasted time you see. Every time you procrastinate, every time you put something off, you feed the Time Eater.
He can speak every language on Earth can the Time Eater; I suppose that what happens when you’ve been alive for over a million years. He can even speak Latin, I don’t know why he’d want to but he can. I asked him what his favourite language was and he’d told me Mongolian, he always liked going to Mongolia he said, because out there he found the most delicious wasted time in the whole world. He said that in England and America, all the wasted time tastes of wet cardboard, whereas in Mongolia, it tastes of stars. I asked him how he knew what stars tasted like; he told me that he’d built most of them. That’s what he does when he’s collected enough precious moments. They’re hard to come by, precious moments of wasted time, like diamonds in a river bed he says, and he uses them to make stars. Stars, he says, are wasted moments that lead to inspiration.
He says that although humans can’t see him they still know he’s there. They have all these words for him he says, demon, angel, death even. He says he finds humans funny, says they’re always trying to label everything like it’s a new batch of jam or something. He says that sometimes he wishes humans could hear him so that he could tell them his real name; The Time Eater.
He visits humans all the time, not children of course, because children don’t know how to waste time. Sometimes they try their hardest, putting off exam revision and things, but because the mind of a child is always learning new lessons, they’re never really wasting their time.
When he visits them, adults always know he’s there, they just forget really quickly, like a lost dream. More often than not he leaves his mark, a gray hair; and each time he visits he leaves another one and another one. Most old people have been marked so much that they only have gray hair.
Of course the Time Eater has a job, he’s not just here to eat time and get fat; he needs to eat time so that he has enough energy to make all those long distance journeys. He says that for every hour of wasted time, he can carry a soul about one hundred miles. That’s his job you see, to tell people when their time has come. He says it’s sad because when he tells them who he is, he has to tell them about all the time they’ve wasted. He can’t help it, it’s in his nature. Many beg and promise him that if he gives them just one more day or week or month or year then they won’t waste any more. The Time Eater hates these moments. He’d love to have told them during their lives not to waste so much time, but people can only see him after their death. Besides, he always tells them, if you hadn’t wasted all that time, I’d never be able to carry your soul away. Some smile at this he says, but most cry.
Sometimes people have been waiting for him, and they greet him like an old friend. Usually these are people who have only met him a few times in their lives; he calls these people his Time Fliers. His favourite Time Flier in the last hundred years was Winston Churchill. He and Winston chatted all the way up. They discussed life and death and good and evil, but mostly they just chatted about Marmite. The Time Eater can’t eat real food you see, and so Mr Churchill told him all about the glorious taste of Marmite.
So you see, I’m special. I’ve been able to see him for ages, I’m his best friend he says, no one in the last million years has ever been able to see him before like I can. We trade, The Time Eater and I, I tell him about touch and taste, and he tells me stories. Either that or he shows me some of his magic. For instance, the other day, he stopped a butterfly in mid flight. He roared with laughter when I tried to touch it, and my finger went right through its wing. You can’t touch it he told me, not when its clock stops; at that point it exists only as a memory. You don’t have to be the Time Eater to know that you can’t touch memories.
So he can stop time. He can’t change it, but he can stop it, and normally he does right at the moment someone dies, just so as he can introduce himself and prepare them for the journey ahead. He has stopped time now. He called to me just a moment ago you see, from across the road. I wanted to run over and give him a hug I was just so excited to see him, but I didn’t see the lorry coming my way; I can see it now though; it’s just about an inch away.
I can’t move when the Time Eater stops my clock, but I can communicate with him through thought. He’s sorry he keeps on telling me, he shouldn’t have called my name, I tell him not to worry, these things happen. We stay for hours in this limbo, chatting about all the weird and wonderful ways that people waste time. Finally he says it’s time to go, and a tear the size of a tea cup rolls down his furry cheek. He says that after he starts time again, I won’t be able to see him. He says he’s eaten loads of wasted time though, so he won’t have any problems carrying my soul. I ask him where I’m going. He tells me that I can go wherever my imagination takes me, but what if I can’t think of anywhere I ask him. You will he says; it’s your imagination that makes you so special. After all he says, look at me.
We’d talked for hours that day, he asked me why I could see him, I don’t know I had replied, he’s huge you see, at least twelve foot high, you couldn’t miss him. He had so many interesting stories, like the time he’d sat in on a meeting between the Prime Minister and the President of America. He said he’d eaten hours and hours that day. He feeds on wasted time you see. Every time you procrastinate, every time you put something off, you feed the Time Eater.
He can speak every language on Earth can the Time Eater; I suppose that what happens when you’ve been alive for over a million years. He can even speak Latin, I don’t know why he’d want to but he can. I asked him what his favourite language was and he’d told me Mongolian, he always liked going to Mongolia he said, because out there he found the most delicious wasted time in the whole world. He said that in England and America, all the wasted time tastes of wet cardboard, whereas in Mongolia, it tastes of stars. I asked him how he knew what stars tasted like; he told me that he’d built most of them. That’s what he does when he’s collected enough precious moments. They’re hard to come by, precious moments of wasted time, like diamonds in a river bed he says, and he uses them to make stars. Stars, he says, are wasted moments that lead to inspiration.
He says that although humans can’t see him they still know he’s there. They have all these words for him he says, demon, angel, death even. He says he finds humans funny, says they’re always trying to label everything like it’s a new batch of jam or something. He says that sometimes he wishes humans could hear him so that he could tell them his real name; The Time Eater.
He visits humans all the time, not children of course, because children don’t know how to waste time. Sometimes they try their hardest, putting off exam revision and things, but because the mind of a child is always learning new lessons, they’re never really wasting their time.
When he visits them, adults always know he’s there, they just forget really quickly, like a lost dream. More often than not he leaves his mark, a gray hair; and each time he visits he leaves another one and another one. Most old people have been marked so much that they only have gray hair.
Of course the Time Eater has a job, he’s not just here to eat time and get fat; he needs to eat time so that he has enough energy to make all those long distance journeys. He says that for every hour of wasted time, he can carry a soul about one hundred miles. That’s his job you see, to tell people when their time has come. He says it’s sad because when he tells them who he is, he has to tell them about all the time they’ve wasted. He can’t help it, it’s in his nature. Many beg and promise him that if he gives them just one more day or week or month or year then they won’t waste any more. The Time Eater hates these moments. He’d love to have told them during their lives not to waste so much time, but people can only see him after their death. Besides, he always tells them, if you hadn’t wasted all that time, I’d never be able to carry your soul away. Some smile at this he says, but most cry.
Sometimes people have been waiting for him, and they greet him like an old friend. Usually these are people who have only met him a few times in their lives; he calls these people his Time Fliers. His favourite Time Flier in the last hundred years was Winston Churchill. He and Winston chatted all the way up. They discussed life and death and good and evil, but mostly they just chatted about Marmite. The Time Eater can’t eat real food you see, and so Mr Churchill told him all about the glorious taste of Marmite.
So you see, I’m special. I’ve been able to see him for ages, I’m his best friend he says, no one in the last million years has ever been able to see him before like I can. We trade, The Time Eater and I, I tell him about touch and taste, and he tells me stories. Either that or he shows me some of his magic. For instance, the other day, he stopped a butterfly in mid flight. He roared with laughter when I tried to touch it, and my finger went right through its wing. You can’t touch it he told me, not when its clock stops; at that point it exists only as a memory. You don’t have to be the Time Eater to know that you can’t touch memories.
So he can stop time. He can’t change it, but he can stop it, and normally he does right at the moment someone dies, just so as he can introduce himself and prepare them for the journey ahead. He has stopped time now. He called to me just a moment ago you see, from across the road. I wanted to run over and give him a hug I was just so excited to see him, but I didn’t see the lorry coming my way; I can see it now though; it’s just about an inch away.
I can’t move when the Time Eater stops my clock, but I can communicate with him through thought. He’s sorry he keeps on telling me, he shouldn’t have called my name, I tell him not to worry, these things happen. We stay for hours in this limbo, chatting about all the weird and wonderful ways that people waste time. Finally he says it’s time to go, and a tear the size of a tea cup rolls down his furry cheek. He says that after he starts time again, I won’t be able to see him. He says he’s eaten loads of wasted time though, so he won’t have any problems carrying my soul. I ask him where I’m going. He tells me that I can go wherever my imagination takes me, but what if I can’t think of anywhere I ask him. You will he says; it’s your imagination that makes you so special. After all he says, look at me.
Tuesday: 21st October 2008
Just had a fantastic lecture from that man Steve Voake,; it was inspiring to listen to someone who doesn’t necessarily see themselves as a writer first and foremost, but had the endeavour to see an idea through and has now really made it in the industry. The key points of his lecture follow:
• He started writing school plays in his twenties.
• He didn’t properly start writing until after he was thirty.
• He was the head teacher of a primary school and really enjoyed it.
• Every week he would find time, usually early mornings, to continue with his novel.
• Early hours, about 3am, is a nice time to write.
• Do the numbers, if you do 300 words per day then that’s over 10000 words in a year.
• A children’s novel is roughly 75,000 words.
• He used the Writer’s Handbook to find relevant agents.
• He emailed the agents a short letter introducing himself, and containing a synopsis of the story and a short example.
• It took a long time for them to get back to him – about 3 months.
• He then received a short email saying that they were impressed with the quality of the work and the idea.
• He went to meet them.
• In the end the book was auctioned off between four publishing companies.
• There was a big party.
• He was then contracted to write a second book by the end of that year.
• There was a year between delivery and publication.
• The book has now been published all over the world and in different countries it has different covers, and different titles.
• He made £150,000 from his first novel alone.
So often when you talk to writers, they tell you how they practically came out of the womb with a pen in their hand, and it can feel a little disheartening. Although I’ve been writing to one extent or other since I was about five, I never really thought of being a published writer until I was in my twenties. What Steve Voake basically said was that at one point he’d had an idea that he liked so much, he turned it into a book, it doesn’t matter how old you are or even how much experience you have. Children’s authors like Steve Voake and J K Rowling also make the fiction writing industry seem a lot friendlier. Sometimes it feels as though, if you’re not writing sophisticated poems and stories with long words then you’re not part of the writers circle, I don’t want to write fiction for adults and so hearing about how successful Steve has been in the industry was really inspiring.
• He started writing school plays in his twenties.
• He didn’t properly start writing until after he was thirty.
• He was the head teacher of a primary school and really enjoyed it.
• Every week he would find time, usually early mornings, to continue with his novel.
• Early hours, about 3am, is a nice time to write.
• Do the numbers, if you do 300 words per day then that’s over 10000 words in a year.
• A children’s novel is roughly 75,000 words.
• He used the Writer’s Handbook to find relevant agents.
• He emailed the agents a short letter introducing himself, and containing a synopsis of the story and a short example.
• It took a long time for them to get back to him – about 3 months.
• He then received a short email saying that they were impressed with the quality of the work and the idea.
• He went to meet them.
• In the end the book was auctioned off between four publishing companies.
• There was a big party.
• He was then contracted to write a second book by the end of that year.
• There was a year between delivery and publication.
• The book has now been published all over the world and in different countries it has different covers, and different titles.
• He made £150,000 from his first novel alone.
So often when you talk to writers, they tell you how they practically came out of the womb with a pen in their hand, and it can feel a little disheartening. Although I’ve been writing to one extent or other since I was about five, I never really thought of being a published writer until I was in my twenties. What Steve Voake basically said was that at one point he’d had an idea that he liked so much, he turned it into a book, it doesn’t matter how old you are or even how much experience you have. Children’s authors like Steve Voake and J K Rowling also make the fiction writing industry seem a lot friendlier. Sometimes it feels as though, if you’re not writing sophisticated poems and stories with long words then you’re not part of the writers circle, I don’t want to write fiction for adults and so hearing about how successful Steve has been in the industry was really inspiring.
Monday: 20th October 2008
I admit it, I’ve been lazy, I haven’t written in my journal for a week or so. The reason being, not much has changed.
I reviewed The Taste of Honey last Tuesday and once again really enjoyed the experience. This time I had people looking out for me, introducing themselves and wotnot. I took a friend with me and even he was surprised (and a little jealous) by all the attention. I must reiterate. This is Amateur dramatics, I am NOT getting (I hate that word) carried away, but this whole thing is still alien to me and if it’s good I’m going to enjoy it. Anyway, the play was very good and I wrote a review for the Chronicle, this time without the supervision of Mimi Thebo and the, that Wednesday they were both published, which was great. It was about page 9854 of the local newspaper but there was still a great sense of pride, as I’ve said before it might be a tiny footstep, but it’s a tiny footstep through the industry door.
I’m doing another review on Wednesday evening, back at the Rondo, a play called A Tomb with a View, and hopefully, if my writing is up to standard I’ll continue to review for the Chronicle, but now that chapter of the module is over, I want to concentrate on other elements of being published, and that starts this week with Competitions.
Competitions
I’ve done a complete loop. At first I thought finding competitions to submit work would be difficult, then I found hundreds of writing competitions online and I thought it would be easy. Then I started researching the competitions, the submission criteria, the previous winners, the quality of some of the work, and I realised that my initial fears were true. This process will be difficult.
Having skimmed the surface and begun researching various competitions for travel writing, poetry and short stories, was time to bring out and dust down old stories and articles I’ve written sometime in the past and jazz them up. One feature, I wrote about spending five days in a Thai prison cell over Christmas has already been published in my old University newspaper a few years ago and I won second prize for it as best feature writer, (or second best). I primarily had this article in mind for a complete revamp.
However it was the fiction writing competitions that I was really interested in. One of the reasons I came to Bath Spa University to do the Creative Writing course was to really concentrate on producing large quantities of work. To an extent I feel I’ve achieved this, but one area in my work really lacking in quality and quantity is short stories. With this in mind I sat down and wrote a short story based on an idea I had months ago. I was incredibly happy with the result and have now sent off to various competitions online. To be honest, although it’s been difficult to find the right competitions, it’s also been a lot of fun and extremely broadening. I discovered all sorts of websites where you can post your work online and have it reviewed. Although some of these websites charge you money, there are plenty of others that are totally free. One of these is: http://www.writerscircle.biz.
I reviewed The Taste of Honey last Tuesday and once again really enjoyed the experience. This time I had people looking out for me, introducing themselves and wotnot. I took a friend with me and even he was surprised (and a little jealous) by all the attention. I must reiterate. This is Amateur dramatics, I am NOT getting (I hate that word) carried away, but this whole thing is still alien to me and if it’s good I’m going to enjoy it. Anyway, the play was very good and I wrote a review for the Chronicle, this time without the supervision of Mimi Thebo and the, that Wednesday they were both published, which was great. It was about page 9854 of the local newspaper but there was still a great sense of pride, as I’ve said before it might be a tiny footstep, but it’s a tiny footstep through the industry door.
I’m doing another review on Wednesday evening, back at the Rondo, a play called A Tomb with a View, and hopefully, if my writing is up to standard I’ll continue to review for the Chronicle, but now that chapter of the module is over, I want to concentrate on other elements of being published, and that starts this week with Competitions.
Competitions
I’ve done a complete loop. At first I thought finding competitions to submit work would be difficult, then I found hundreds of writing competitions online and I thought it would be easy. Then I started researching the competitions, the submission criteria, the previous winners, the quality of some of the work, and I realised that my initial fears were true. This process will be difficult.
Having skimmed the surface and begun researching various competitions for travel writing, poetry and short stories, was time to bring out and dust down old stories and articles I’ve written sometime in the past and jazz them up. One feature, I wrote about spending five days in a Thai prison cell over Christmas has already been published in my old University newspaper a few years ago and I won second prize for it as best feature writer, (or second best). I primarily had this article in mind for a complete revamp.
However it was the fiction writing competitions that I was really interested in. One of the reasons I came to Bath Spa University to do the Creative Writing course was to really concentrate on producing large quantities of work. To an extent I feel I’ve achieved this, but one area in my work really lacking in quality and quantity is short stories. With this in mind I sat down and wrote a short story based on an idea I had months ago. I was incredibly happy with the result and have now sent off to various competitions online. To be honest, although it’s been difficult to find the right competitions, it’s also been a lot of fun and extremely broadening. I discovered all sorts of websites where you can post your work online and have it reviewed. Although some of these websites charge you money, there are plenty of others that are totally free. One of these is: http://www.writerscircle.biz.
Thursday 8th October 2008
Going to see the play last night was a really interesting experience. I haven’t been to see amateur drama for a long long time and to be quite honest I had no idea what to expect. Finding the Rondo wasn’t that easy, but I planned my journey beforehand and arrived in good time. I queued at the front desk and having watched the people in front of me pay for their tickets I felt slightly guilty picking up mine for free. However there was undeniably a sense of pride and self worth when I told them that I was here to do a review of the play for the Chronicle. This may only be amateur dramatics but it’s still nice to be made to feel important.
Well, that evening , after the play I celebrated with a few beers in the pub and the next morning it was time to write the review, and it was.... difficult.
For one, I’d never written a review before, two I have no idea about amateur dramatics and three, reviewers tend to use flowery, pretentious, complicated language. Not easy. I’d written down a few pointers and remarks in the theatre the night before and these were the starting point for the review. For the next hour or so I toiled with it, trying to make it witty and scholarly. It was a battle I couldn’t win. After this troublesome hour I looked back at what I’d written and decided I hated it. So I started again, but this time instead of trying to sound all scholarly and wotnot, I just tried to remember the emotions and thoughts I had in the theatre as I watched the play. I wrote down the experience in the first person and got every thought and feeling that came into my head down on paper. After I had finished, I jazzed it up a little, used the thesaurus to find some more academic words and finally, I was happy with the result.
But this was my big opportunity and the last thing I wanted to do was send off something an amateur like me thought was good, but by industry standards was rubbish, so.... I took it to someone who knows every nook and cranny of the publishing industry, Mimi Thebo. There were still a few bits and bobs that needed tidying, and thankfully Mimi, helped me iron out these kinks. The essence of the review however, was still very much my own.
The Review:
John Pamplin directs Alan Ayckbourn’s Confusions at the Rondo Theatre with assurance; tackling the tricky scenes and dialogue changes with a sure hand. You’d never know it was his directorial debut.
Confusions is a series of five loosely interlinked, farcical plays, which take place in various familiar settings; family home, restaurant, bar, village fete and city park, but the play, under Pamplin’s direction, rarely seems as segmented as the premise suggests.
An experienced cast deliver their lines with energy and enthusiasm and the occasional tendency to overact is a testament to their efforts in bringing their characters to life.
Parts of this play had the audience in stitches, the village fete scene, where everything that could possibly go wrong, does, was particularly humourous. Also, Derek Le Page’s show stealing performance as a canny waiter in the restaurant scene left us clutching our sides with laughter.
Confusions is a thoroughly enjoyable evening out and although the slightly dated jokes are likely to appeal to a more mature audience, everyone could enjoy this farcical take on loneliness, infidelity and human nature.
I sent it off to Christopher at about three o’clock that afternoon and almost immediately I received this email:
Dear Jake
That is just right. Perfect. So perfect in fact that I wonder if you are free on Tuesday to go to the Mission Theatre at 7.30pm to do A Taste of Honey. Same form as before about tickets etc. Only thing is we will need the review very first thing on Wednesday morning – say by 8am as it has to go in Thursday’s paper.
Best wishes
Christopher
I am well chuffed.
Well, that evening , after the play I celebrated with a few beers in the pub and the next morning it was time to write the review, and it was.... difficult.
For one, I’d never written a review before, two I have no idea about amateur dramatics and three, reviewers tend to use flowery, pretentious, complicated language. Not easy. I’d written down a few pointers and remarks in the theatre the night before and these were the starting point for the review. For the next hour or so I toiled with it, trying to make it witty and scholarly. It was a battle I couldn’t win. After this troublesome hour I looked back at what I’d written and decided I hated it. So I started again, but this time instead of trying to sound all scholarly and wotnot, I just tried to remember the emotions and thoughts I had in the theatre as I watched the play. I wrote down the experience in the first person and got every thought and feeling that came into my head down on paper. After I had finished, I jazzed it up a little, used the thesaurus to find some more academic words and finally, I was happy with the result.
But this was my big opportunity and the last thing I wanted to do was send off something an amateur like me thought was good, but by industry standards was rubbish, so.... I took it to someone who knows every nook and cranny of the publishing industry, Mimi Thebo. There were still a few bits and bobs that needed tidying, and thankfully Mimi, helped me iron out these kinks. The essence of the review however, was still very much my own.
The Review:
John Pamplin directs Alan Ayckbourn’s Confusions at the Rondo Theatre with assurance; tackling the tricky scenes and dialogue changes with a sure hand. You’d never know it was his directorial debut.
Confusions is a series of five loosely interlinked, farcical plays, which take place in various familiar settings; family home, restaurant, bar, village fete and city park, but the play, under Pamplin’s direction, rarely seems as segmented as the premise suggests.
An experienced cast deliver their lines with energy and enthusiasm and the occasional tendency to overact is a testament to their efforts in bringing their characters to life.
Parts of this play had the audience in stitches, the village fete scene, where everything that could possibly go wrong, does, was particularly humourous. Also, Derek Le Page’s show stealing performance as a canny waiter in the restaurant scene left us clutching our sides with laughter.
Confusions is a thoroughly enjoyable evening out and although the slightly dated jokes are likely to appeal to a more mature audience, everyone could enjoy this farcical take on loneliness, infidelity and human nature.
I sent it off to Christopher at about three o’clock that afternoon and almost immediately I received this email:
Dear Jake
That is just right. Perfect. So perfect in fact that I wonder if you are free on Tuesday to go to the Mission Theatre at 7.30pm to do A Taste of Honey. Same form as before about tickets etc. Only thing is we will need the review very first thing on Wednesday morning – say by 8am as it has to go in Thursday’s paper.
Best wishes
Christopher
I am well chuffed.
Week 3 Cont'd
I’ve just received my first assignment from Chris Hutchins at The Chronicle which is a relief. Although he had said that he would be sending something through, I had reservations as so often in life people say they’re going to do something and then don’t.
The email:
Good morning Jake
Thank you for replying. Are you free this Wednesday evening? Bath Drama are doing Ayckbourn’s Confusions at The Rondo. It will be a good deal better than some. Just go along to the Rondo and ask for the tickets for the Chronicle reviewer. You will get two. If they don’t give you a programme ask for one and don’t pay. Say you need it to get the names spelt correctly.
Let’s say 200 words but if it is a few more or less don’t worry. Can you get it to us by the end of Thursday? As I say be helpful in your review and remember they are probably regular buyers of the paper. But don’t urge people to go along and see rubbish. You can mention individuals but don’t feel you have to mention everyone. Anyway there isn’t space.
As I say you can claim £20 which you can either claim straight away or you can save them up and do a month’s worth at a time. If you like us and we like you then you are certain to get quite a few. Sorry but it usually takes a week or two for the cash to come through until they learn to recognize your name.
Send your invoice with the name of the play and the date you did it and where to Jackie Chappell here at James Street West.
Good luck
Christopher
Although I’ve written the odd review here and there, I’ve never written one for submission to an actual paper, where actual people will read it and care about what it says. I’m excited about the opportunity and if all goes well, I could be published by this time next week.
The email:
Good morning Jake
Thank you for replying. Are you free this Wednesday evening? Bath Drama are doing Ayckbourn’s Confusions at The Rondo. It will be a good deal better than some. Just go along to the Rondo and ask for the tickets for the Chronicle reviewer. You will get two. If they don’t give you a programme ask for one and don’t pay. Say you need it to get the names spelt correctly.
Let’s say 200 words but if it is a few more or less don’t worry. Can you get it to us by the end of Thursday? As I say be helpful in your review and remember they are probably regular buyers of the paper. But don’t urge people to go along and see rubbish. You can mention individuals but don’t feel you have to mention everyone. Anyway there isn’t space.
As I say you can claim £20 which you can either claim straight away or you can save them up and do a month’s worth at a time. If you like us and we like you then you are certain to get quite a few. Sorry but it usually takes a week or two for the cash to come through until they learn to recognize your name.
Send your invoice with the name of the play and the date you did it and where to Jackie Chappell here at James Street West.
Good luck
Christopher
Although I’ve written the odd review here and there, I’ve never written one for submission to an actual paper, where actual people will read it and care about what it says. I’m excited about the opportunity and if all goes well, I could be published by this time next week.
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